Coolers. People who try to get drunk off this shit lose at life.
Smart cars. Go back to reading NOW magazine and wearing hemp clothes, asshole. I especially hate the ones that say "IAMSMART" or whatever on the license plate. Die.
NOW magazine. I don't think any more needs to be said.
Hippies. The only cool hippie is Jesus Hippie, who I see pretty much every time I go to Kensington now.
Things I love:
Stolichnaya Russian vodka. The best way to drink this is obviously straight from the fucking bottle. An extremely Russian thing to do.
Velociraptors. These dinosaurs are jerks, and therefore awesome.
Inugami Circus-dan. They have a song about a pregnant woman who burns down houses, which is clearly the way music should be. Also, notice how the band members dress in a combination of braided epaulets, horns, and some sort of weird mohawk thing.
Kazuo Kiriyama. Aka the most badass fictional character I've ever seen. Except for Alucard, who is about 100x more badass, mainly because he's a vampire. I'm not sure who is more badass: the movie character who kills for fun and is totally hot, or the manga/book character who is, for a very poorly-explained reason, incapable of feeling emotion and therefore just kills because he feels like it. But movie Kiriyama is hotter so I might just go with him.