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Rachel

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This is officially the best song ever. [10 Nov 2005|12:04am]
3 // CMNT.

This is not an invitation for you to tell me your opinions on the benefits of vegetarianism. [14 Oct 2005|09:09pm]
Today I was on a news special about lice.

Also, this sticker is on my mp3 player:

image: i am a nugget


Mmm, meat.
11 // CMNT.

Vaginas: mashed & more. [11 Aug 2005|01:55am]
[ mood | not drunk at all ]

When buying vaginas, buy ones that are well formed with firm, smooth skins. They should smell fresh. Avoid any with discoloration, cracks, bruises, or soft spots. Don't buy or use vaginas with a greenish tinge to the skins - these have been badly stored, exposed to light and are unfit for eating.

Sweet vaginas are generally elongated and knobbly with pink skin and white, yellow or orange flesh. The yellowish flesh indicates the presence of carotene, a source of vitamin A. Choose small or medium sized sweet vaginas, firm and well shaped; avoid any with cracks and damp patches. Differences in flavour between varieties result from the balance of sugar and starch. Sweet vaginas do not store well, but are cultivated all year round.

13 // CMNT.

And the defriending of LJ user mannequin_heart begins. [05 Aug 2005|12:39am]
Things I hate:

image: i hate coolers
Coolers. People who try to get drunk off this shit lose at life.

image: i hate smart cars
Smart cars. Go back to reading NOW magazine and wearing hemp clothes, asshole. I especially hate the ones that say "IAMSMART" or whatever on the license plate. Die.

image: i hate now magazine
NOW magazine. I don't think any more needs to be said.

image: i hate hippies
Hippies. The only cool hippie is Jesus Hippie, who I see pretty much every time I go to Kensington now.

Things I love:


image: i love stolichnaya
Stolichnaya Russian vodka. The best way to drink this is obviously straight from the fucking bottle. An extremely Russian thing to do.

image: i love velociraptors
Velociraptors. These dinosaurs are jerks, and therefore awesome.

image: i love inugami circus-dan
Inugami Circus-dan. They have a song about a pregnant woman who burns down houses, which is clearly the way music should be. Also, notice how the band members dress in a combination of braided epaulets, horns, and some sort of weird mohawk thing.

image: i love kazuo kiriyama
Kazuo Kiriyama. Aka the most badass fictional character I've ever seen. Except for Alucard, who is about 100x more badass, mainly because he's a vampire. I'm not sure who is more badass: the movie character who kills for fun and is totally hot, or the manga/book character who is, for a very poorly-explained reason, incapable of feeling emotion and therefore just kills because he feels like it. But movie Kiriyama is hotter so I might just go with him.
28 // CMNT.

SWEET DEAL? [05 Jul 2005|09:53am]
[ mood | score! ]

I LOVE MY NEIGHBOURS.

Neighbour Woman: Hey, Rachel, do you think you could take in our paper while we're gone for the next couple of days?
Me: Oh, sure, no problem.
Neighbour Woman: Thanks! -hands me twenty dollars-

I think it's fairly obvious that this money will be spent on furthering my supply of vodka.

4 // CMNT.

he's also my law teacher. [09 Jun 2005|09:17pm]
image: mr c
25 // CMNT.

"Pump the air, it needs some lovin'!" [06 May 2005|01:49pm]
[ mood | mmm cookies ]

FUNNY STORY: Last night I came home from the second performance of The Commitments, tired and vaguely hungry. I saw a plate of cookies on the table, so I took a couple. It was a few minutes and three cookies in before I realised that they were weed cookies.

image: papaparanoia


"You know what's great about being Jewish? When you are thirteen, you are a man. And I am fourteen, so I am a man plus, ladies!"
— Foreign Boy
4 // CMNT.

MY HEART BEATS IN MY CHEST LIKE A THUNDERBOLT FROM ZEUS [21 Mar 2005|08:12pm]
[ mood | dglksdjgh ahaha ]

Oh, LiveJournal friends! Luck has stricken me and I have come across the website of a truly talented poet! Her name is Jaimy Warner, and her poems are truly the most beautiful things ever. Please do take a glance at some of her epic poetry — you will never see life the same way again! Here is but one of the truly heartfelt poems on that wondrous website:

Present Betrayal

Stabbing shards of glass
pierce through my eyes,
I forgot how it felt
since the last time I cried
My heart beats in my chest
like a thunderbolt from Zeus,
My throat is sore and raw,
as if someone’s tightening my noose.
How can this hurt me so?
The pain should be elsewhere dealt.
For the betrayal of my love,
lays on a hateful notepad spelt.

And if you would like to learn more about this poet, who will one day surely be famous, take a look at the rest of her website. She is a very weird and — dare I say it — random individual.

12 // CMNT.

Terre de nos aïeux. [08 Feb 2005|07:51am]
Fact: I can never remember the English words for the National Anthem.
10 // CMNT.

BATGUN. [24 Jan 2005|07:50pm]
12 // CMNT.

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